


midnight hymns

by thecrayreport



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, also they deserve softness + the world, i'm here to rot your teeth so you can visit the dentist again, you can fite me on this i'm right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecrayreport/pseuds/thecrayreport
Summary: A stressful evening turns into a chance to pull up old ghosts, and perhaps make new memories in spite of them.
Relationships: Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)
Kudos: 13





	midnight hymns

**Author's Note:**

> i've been meaning to write some soft smut for a while, and knew that my fav ship needed some, so here we are~
> 
> also if you want to connect with me off AO3, my twitter + tumblr is @thecrayreport and my discord is tonibaloney#5318. send me a dm, i don't bite!

“Need any help?”

Mary adjusted her bowtie best by sliding it completely free from her collar, gracious that Lilith came to her aid by taking away her dinner jacket. Loud, raucous parties were never her thing, but neither were quiet yet extravagant banquets. The purpose behind them didn’t sit right with her. Father Vincent wanted them to keep a firm presence and be in the good graces of the Church, so they tended to their every whim whenever they came to visit their little monastery. Ava wanted them to “let loose” and experience life in the best way possible, which always seemed to end with several cans of silly string and several jello shots.

But all Mary wanted was to sleep. At the end of a stressful, intense day, the last thing that she needed was to suck up to Cardinals or dodge disco lights. However, she was glad that she didn’t have to do it alone. Lilith held as much contempt toward the whole ordeal as Mary did, perhaps more when they discovered how long they would have to attend. The worst thing about banquets, after all, was their longevity. Say what she wanted, but at least their nights out on the town were judged by how much drunk karaoke was sung. Their dinners with the Church, on the other hand, were certified to last no less than several hours, whether Mary actually liked the people there or not. There were only so many times a person could smile and converse in a room full of conservative old men before their senses began to slip away.

Lilith was her anchor. Even down to their matching dark violet suit and gown, they worked in unison to one another. Never veering too far away, always able to divert their attention away from the mundane. By the time the night was through, Mary was surprised to discover that she actually had a smile on her face, a feat she thought would never happen after such a dragging occasion. But she did it. She always did.

Mary sighed as she threw herself onto her bed. The old thing creaked as if its springs hadn’t been oiled since World War II, which would explain why she always found herself with a terrible kink in her neck the following morning. No matter how many pillows and sheets she tried to soften it, there was always one poking her in the back or jabbing her in the ribs. It was like she also had to fight just to get the chance to rest.

“I swear, if Duretti didn’t leave when he did, I would’ve thrown him off that balcony myself,” she groaned.

Lilith chuckled as she unclipped her earrings, setting them down on top of Mary’s dresser. “Thank goodness he was distracted. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“You better not try and put a scoreboard to this,” Mary said. “All the times I’ve come in clutch to save you, the least you can do is return the favor.”

“The least you can do is help me out of this dress,” Lilith returned.

Mary lifted her head. Lilith looked like she was already on her way out of her clothes. With one arm tucked behind her back, she struggled to fully slide the zipper down. Mary had no problem with that, she had helped her get dressed beforehand, and doing the same would be no different. After motioning for Lilith to come closer, she sat on the edge of the bed and slid the zipper down without another thought. While Lilith did turn considerably quieter, Mary saw no reason as to why. Did she expect for her to leave the other hanging?

“Thank you, by the way,” Mary said.

“For what?”

“Sticking up for me, I guess? You always were good at that. Even when we were kids, you always had my一”

Mary paused. Lilith’s back was… awfully toned. Mary hadn’t noticed it before, probably because there weren’t many moments where she could. They dressed in so many layers at the monastery, she had to show force in order for the both of them to show more than just their wrists that night. But seeing her back, or the muscles in her arms, or the curve of her hips, they weren’t supposed to make Mary flush with color.

“Something wrong?” Lilith asked.

“Uhh, nope. No, I’m good. Zipper just got stuck.” She most certainly wasn’t and the zipper was perfectly fine, but Mary wasn’t going to tell her that. Playing on their vulnerabilities was a frequent game for the two of them, brought on from childhood. Lilith would eat her alive if she discovered that she was nearly drooling. So Mary changed the subject, just as she went to change her clothes.

“Mother Superion looked happy,” she said as she retrieved a t-shirt and a pair of shorts from her dresser.

Lilith scoffed. “She was scowling the whole time. Really, if her face didn’t get any tighter, she would’ve一”

“ _Looked like a perturbed ferret!_ ” they said in unison.

The image alone sent the both of them over the edge. They doubled over in laughter, Mary clutching at Lilith’s arm to keep from falling. Tears streaked Lilith’s eyes and she dabbed them away with her fingers as Mary righted herself.

“God, it’s been a while since I’ve laughed that hard,” Mary said between gulps of air.

Lilith nodded. “It’s been a while since I heard you laugh at all.”

Mary’s giggles gradually, yet considerably, dimmed. It was true, it had been some time since she had shared such a moment with anyone. But things had changed since their time as children. They had both taken different paths that were only now intersecting. It was natural, but the guilt that gnawed at her wasn’t.

“We’re not kids anymore,” Mary said.

“Never said we were,” Lilith replied, sitting down on the bed. “But even you have to admit, what happened between us wasn’t right.”

“We were _kids_ ,” Mary stressed. “You had your dreams, and I had mine. We didn’t have a choice. And even if we had, what difference would it make?”

“What _difference?_ ” Lilith repeated, shooting to her feet. “You were my friend一my _only_ friend. Before Beatrice and Camila came, it was just us. But it didn’t matter because you swore that it would be okay. ‘You and me against the world’, do you remember that?”

“Yeah,” Mary nodded. “But I also remember you letting your parents force us apart. Can’t have the future Bearer fraternizing with a lowly nun.”

“You think I wanted that? _Look at me._ ”

Mary kept her neck stiff, but Lilith turned her head for her. There was fire in her eyes, as well as water. Pain and anger at once. Years of unexpressed emotions came together to create a thunderstorm.

“I wanted you, Mary,” she said. “I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to be in the Church. But that was the problem. I would’ve given up everything if you had asked me to, but I shouldn’t have. I had to learn that my needs matter, too. I regret that I had to let you go in order to do so, but I’ve grown now, and so have you. I’m ready, and willing, to try again.”

There was no if. There was never an if. That was the one thing that she had wanted so badly to hear Lilith say ever since they first shared a sandwich. But while their tense past hurt, Mary had to accept that she was right. She had been in the same situation with Shannon, placing herself to the side in favor of her own desires. She thought that made their love authentic. She had already sacrificed so much of herself already, what was one more?

But Lilith didn’t demand neither her attention nor her time. She welcomed it, but didn’t force her way in the door. At first, Mary had mistaken it for disinterest, but like she said, there was a lesson to be learned. They didn’t need one another in order to be satisfied. They were enough already. But to _want_ to be there, to wake up everyday and actively make the decision to share themselves with one another, that was far more precious.

Mary leaned in closer, Lilith’s eyelids falling in synch. The last time Mary had ever kissed anyone, it was rough, passionate. But she didn’t want to feed that beast, not tonight. Instead, her lips graced Lilith’s with the tenderness of a cool summer’s breeze, gliding across one another as if in a peaceful meadow. When they parted, Lilith’s eyes were still closed, and with their foreheads pressed together, Mary dared a question.

“May I?” Mary asked.

Lilith’s hands reached for her wrist, and she laid a delicate kiss beneath her palm. “Always.”

Lilith was lighter than Mary expected. By the way she would storm a hot corner, Mary thought that she would have to hold her breath when she got on top of her. But Lilith was light as a feather, or perhaps Mary had been training hard just for this. The moment she straddled her sides, Mary accepted how nice it would feel if she stayed that way. It was even better when she shimmied away the sleeve of her dress, revealing her breasts and scar underneath. Mary swiped her thumb across the depression, letting its heat sink in through her skin.

Lilith sucked in her breath. Mary looked up at her, concerned. “Does it still hurt?”

“Sometimes,” Lilith replied. “Sometimes, I can be punched right there, and don’t feel anything. Others, I can’t bring myself to put on a shirt.”

Lilith inched herself further up Mary’s body, until her lower half was by her chin, legs carefully spread on either side of her head. Although Mary didn’t have a problem leaning in herself, Lilith of course assisted her by placing a pillow or two behind her head for added support. Mary’s hands rose up past Lilith’s thighs, further than her rolling hips, before resting where her chest met her back. Lilith, in turn, gripped Mary’s hips, and when Mary drew her lips close to her own, her nails sank like iron into her flesh.

“Be gentle,” Lilith whispered.

Mary grinned. “Always, baby girl.”


End file.
